When BLOGGERS unite!

January 29, 2011 at 7:13 pm (Entertainment, Humor, Random) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Okay – HOLY CRAP! Where do I start? Probably the texting…ever since her plane touched down – and let’s face it – probably even before that, I sent a text saying “ARE YOU IN MY STATE YET?!?!?!?” And about 6 hours later, she said, “NOW I AM!” So…that was Wednesday.

Thursday rolls around and Hannah and Guy decide they want to get their TOURIST ON in BC Canada! All the while I’m thinking to myself,

“*Gulp* I sure hope they don’t get stuck at the border, because THIS chick is gonna start WWIII if my NANNER GETS STUCK AT CUSTOMS!!!! I ain’t messin AROUND here PEOPLE!”

The texting ranges from me telling her not to eat the lame Canadian M&M’s to her asking if Oreo’s are different in Canada. Obviously, we have our priorities. Fun Fact: Canadian M&M’s aren’t called M&M’s – they are called SMARTIES! Which doesn’t make much sense, because there is already a candy called SMARTIES and they AIN’T CHOCOLATE!

There was one moment when you know…you’re thinking that this just isn’t going to happen simply because it’s YOU and that’s your DUMB LUCK – well that moment happened to me around 4:57pm on Thursday:

Me: You weren’t hit by a car at Pike Place Market today, were you?

Hannah: No, should I have?

Me: uh…NOOOOOOO!!! Just checkin!! Freak me out!!!

With the hilly terrain of Seattle, most people don’t realize that if you have shitty brakes, you may as well stay home and someone didn’t realize that on Thursday. Turns out the brakes gave out and smashed into some pedestrians and severely damaged them and well…let’s just say that I’m overjoyed it wasn’t MY Hannah and Guy and that I’m sorry for the people who were injured.

CRISIS AVERTED!!!!

Then FRIDAY gets here and you know, this is the BIG DAY! I started the textravaganza with “Holy Shit! It’s HUG A BANANA DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She’s coming….TODAY!!!! I had been feverishly getting the house as spic-n-span as I can get it for a few days and it looks like Christmas THREW UP IN MY HOUSE because we have so many decorations everywhere the eye can see. As I finish what has GOT to be the longest day on record ever since the inception of CLOCKS…4:30 finally got here and I left a dust trail from my office door to my car that followed me all the way home – ala Road Runner. I knew there was stuff that still needed to happen at home as far as cleaning was concerned and I wasn’t about to have Hannah and Guy step into my gross house!

With the help of my loving husband and two extremely well-behaved children, we were able to make the house sparkle. And then the waiting began. The text I got before I left work said, “OK. My cousin is in Seattle from 4-5, so then we leave and come straight to y’all. YAYYY!!!!!”

Then it happened, y’all! My daughters were sitting at the dining room table and said, “Mom – someone just waved at us!” AND. THEN. I. FREAKED. OUT!!!!!!!! I ran to the door and flung it open and then we ran into each other and hugged and hugged. Screaming commenced and then there were several YAY’S and lots more hugging and giggling and introductions. And let me tell you people something…I DIDN’T EVER THINK THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN!!!!! I mean…I just have a doomed outlook or something or a “too good to be true” view on the world.  I just knew something was gonna make it not happen. BUT I WAS WRONG!!!!!

We had Daqueri’s and beer and we bought Guy some Mike’s Hard Lemonade because Hannah told us he loves that shizz. And my hubs was in the kitch making Pizza so that we could all visit. So we ate some yummy pizza and then I whipped out the OREO’S and some big glasses of MILK!!!!! And we ate an entire package of Oreo’s!!!! Those were probably the best tasting Oreo’s I had ever had in my life. Not so sure if it was the Oreo’s themselves, or the company…but I’m gonna put all my money on the latter.

THEEEEENNNNN it was Saturday and we were waking up and hanging out and talkin and my 9 year old made muffins for our distinguished guests. And my dog got them all hairy…especially after Hannah laid on the living room/dining room floor for a snuggle with her and when she got up she said it was cat hair and I was all…UH…NO IT ISN’T!!!! And then I molested her a little as I was brushing all the dog hair (cat hair – yeah RIGHT) off of her.

We decided we had better get all ready to go meet up with Kate and Annie at a little burger joint about 20-25 minutes from our house and that’s when we took this:

The FOUR amigos!!

Of course Annie handed her camera to my daughter who is 9 years old and who wanted to assert her artistic side…which gifted us THIS lovely picture:

Carm and Annie! I love this one!!

And then here are a few more – you can almost hear the laughter, can’t you?

We had a wonderful time together. Lunch with all our favorite Bloggers pretty much was the cherry on top of our entire two days of awesomeness.

I can’t wait to visit DC someday and see where Hannah and Guy live!! It’s going to be EPIC!!!!!

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Honorary Jew Status

September 8, 2010 at 2:32 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

About a year ago, I was bestowed a great honor by one of my most potty-mouthiest of friends. It’s been about a year so I guess you could call it my “Jewversary”. She couldn’t find all the pieces at her local (Silver Spring, Maryland) Home Depot, for her Sukkah(*see below) project. On my birthday, I decided to hook her up because – as it turns out – I am a previous hardware store worker and knew EXACTLY everything she needed to complete her project! Anyway – Hannah decided to get out her golden menorah and bestow on me the most wonderfully unofficial title I’ve ever carried: Honorary Jew.

There are a lot of questions I had when I was first given this status – many of them I needed to ask about, some of which I drew the line on, and some – I found out – I already possessed! Here’s what being an “Honorary Jew” means to me:

  • First of all I had to make it CLEAR to Hannah that I would not – under ANY circumstances – alter my diet WHATSOEVER! I mean…a life without pork? SERIOUSLY? You might as well kill me NOW! Have you TASTED BACON??????? I rest my case!
  • I will participate in the Hanukkah celebration…let’s face it…any chance to get more gifts is A-OK in my book. And if you can do it by CANDLE-LIGHT? Uh – yeah…NUFF SAID!
  • Then there’s the whole “Jew’s are good with money” thing. Even though I’m not OFFICIALLY Jewish…being an honorary Jew and lifting that kind of hope up to the Jew Gods is something I’m totally willing to do. I should really read up on this form of belief system…I’m hopelessly ignorant to it – feel free to educate me, that is, if you haven’t already gotten a Rabbi to completely burn your computer monitor because I’m blasphemous. I assure you, it’s not my intention…and BESIDES! Someone who ISN’T Jewish, helping out a REAL Jew with her Sukkah has GOT to count for something, right? I thought so too…
  • Jewish Guilt. Welp. NOW WE’RE TALKIN!!! I’ve got this DOWN! No problemo! In fact the amount of GUILT that I have all welled up and pushed into the furthest recesses of my inner core and subconscious could make me probably full blooded Jewish…probably.
  • That whole thing about Jews love the Jewelery…and own Jewelery stores. I think they might do that just because there aren’t a whole lot of English language words that contain the word “Jew” in them, so they practically HAD to take over that whole industry and quite frankly, who can blame them? Not me!

So there you have it. I know you’re probably jealous of me right now…and to be honest, if I were on the outside (you) looking in (me) I’d feel mighty left out too. Luckily, I don’t have to worry about that, because I’m an Honorary Jew…and you aren’t. Sucks to be you…

* Sukkah – It’s basically a little out-building that the Jew’s spend time in eating, praying and loving. (No, it’s not based loosely on the current popular novel or the movie starring Julia Roberts. Yeesh…c’mon people!) Here’s what Wikipedia says about “Sukkah” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukkah

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